Post by morganlafaye on May 27, 2012 9:41:53 GMT -8
Hi, I found this site when I googled subtle forms of sexual abuse.
I have 2 daughters who both have extreme anxiety disorders. They both exhibited behavior around the same time - so I started taking them to therapy. That started a chain of events which has led me to have full custody, leave the State and now they have no physical contact with their father. My problem is I feel guilty about alienating my daughters from their Dad. I feel responsible for his behavior. Recently, my youngest best friend came forward and told her that on a sleepover in 2nd grade - my ex- put his penis in her hand while he thought she was sleeping and he "touched" her. ( of course I told child's mother, who decided not to report the incident) My babies slept with me while I was breastfeeding - this led to them staying in the family bed until they were 5, but when I divorced my husband - he continued sleeping with the girls, I had to have the girls therapist explain to him how it was not appropriate, if I tried he would fly into a rage "how dare I accuse him of being inappropriate with HIS daughters...etc.. Same thing when I asked him to stop putting A & D ointment on their genitals when they were out of diapers. I hated leaving them alone with him, my lawyer had told me with no proof of abuse their was nothing I could do. My ex thought he was the better parent always portraying himself as above reproach, perfect, hands on Dad etc...Eventually, when the girls were older and he finally had a girlfriend - he struck my oldest in a rage while she was trying to protect her younger sister. Then I found out he had been drinking while driving on a regular basis - CPS got involved - it got ugly -- I got custody and I left the State.
Now I have 2 really messed up girls, the eldest ( now 16) has alluded to inappropriate behavior from her father such as massaging her and telling her that massage was sensual, both girls remember the ointment application and are creeped out, however, the eldest is shut down and acts out all the time. She hates herself , bulimic, self harms, violent rages and refuses to talk to any therapist. My point is: I feel crazy all the time. My ex- insists I "did this to him" that he NEVER was inappropriate - I am the crazy one...even with this new kid coming forward - somehow- I am making it all up just to punish him. I told him not to contact us anymore, and he went away for a little while, now he is back because of child support issues and he gave my daughter 100 dollars for her birthday so she wants to Thank him. I know he is buying her off. She was the one who came forward first, then backed down, so he gets away. I can't force her to get help, although I continue to try through alternative routes such as a naturapath and an acupuncturist - both are strong young female healers. I just can't stop feeling crazy and responsible and worried somehow I created this bad situation. Everyday I wake up and wish it was over. I would never leave my girls alone so I plod on. Still crazy and so so sad like all the joy has been sucked out of me, I do not remember the last time I was genuinely happy. This is the first time I have reached out on a public forum.
I have 2 daughters who both have extreme anxiety disorders. They both exhibited behavior around the same time - so I started taking them to therapy. That started a chain of events which has led me to have full custody, leave the State and now they have no physical contact with their father. My problem is I feel guilty about alienating my daughters from their Dad. I feel responsible for his behavior. Recently, my youngest best friend came forward and told her that on a sleepover in 2nd grade - my ex- put his penis in her hand while he thought she was sleeping and he "touched" her. ( of course I told child's mother, who decided not to report the incident) My babies slept with me while I was breastfeeding - this led to them staying in the family bed until they were 5, but when I divorced my husband - he continued sleeping with the girls, I had to have the girls therapist explain to him how it was not appropriate, if I tried he would fly into a rage "how dare I accuse him of being inappropriate with HIS daughters...etc.. Same thing when I asked him to stop putting A & D ointment on their genitals when they were out of diapers. I hated leaving them alone with him, my lawyer had told me with no proof of abuse their was nothing I could do. My ex thought he was the better parent always portraying himself as above reproach, perfect, hands on Dad etc...Eventually, when the girls were older and he finally had a girlfriend - he struck my oldest in a rage while she was trying to protect her younger sister. Then I found out he had been drinking while driving on a regular basis - CPS got involved - it got ugly -- I got custody and I left the State.
Now I have 2 really messed up girls, the eldest ( now 16) has alluded to inappropriate behavior from her father such as massaging her and telling her that massage was sensual, both girls remember the ointment application and are creeped out, however, the eldest is shut down and acts out all the time. She hates herself , bulimic, self harms, violent rages and refuses to talk to any therapist. My point is: I feel crazy all the time. My ex- insists I "did this to him" that he NEVER was inappropriate - I am the crazy one...even with this new kid coming forward - somehow- I am making it all up just to punish him. I told him not to contact us anymore, and he went away for a little while, now he is back because of child support issues and he gave my daughter 100 dollars for her birthday so she wants to Thank him. I know he is buying her off. She was the one who came forward first, then backed down, so he gets away. I can't force her to get help, although I continue to try through alternative routes such as a naturapath and an acupuncturist - both are strong young female healers. I just can't stop feeling crazy and responsible and worried somehow I created this bad situation. Everyday I wake up and wish it was over. I would never leave my girls alone so I plod on. Still crazy and so so sad like all the joy has been sucked out of me, I do not remember the last time I was genuinely happy. This is the first time I have reached out on a public forum.
