Post by understandingatlast on Nov 6, 2024 15:09:28 GMT -8
Hello 
TW - a little graphic / sexual violence.
I have been having different therapies for trauma all this year. Moving into my own place in Jan brought up all the reasons I moved out of my family of origin’s home, 30 years ago now. I wasn’t expecting that to all come up, I had thought it had been dealt with years and years ago. (It’s been a tough year trauma wise).
I have never understood why anything to do with even just the IDEA of home as a concept; family life, domesticity, housing, intimacy… makes me think of abuse, domestic violence, paedophiles, secrets, guilt… I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 20 so I know I wasn’t vaginally raped as a child. I have always been grateful for that clarity (I had to have an operation to remove my hymen).
But having explored trauma, co-dependency, my parents’ immaturity, my individuation from them, Enmeshment, ACOAs, my extreme problems with intimacy, domestic abuse I’ve been through… the list goes on and on… I came across Covert Emotional Incest 3 weeks ago and I met criteria for all but about three points 😳. So much resonates.
I can’t believe I’m learning this at 46.
So I’m here to learn from others and to accept and process what’s happened to me. This isn’t something I can speak to many people about - I’m sure many can’t. And this kind of online forum is an ideal way for me to explore this when it’s convenient for me.
TW - a little graphic / sexual violence.
I have been having different therapies for trauma all this year. Moving into my own place in Jan brought up all the reasons I moved out of my family of origin’s home, 30 years ago now. I wasn’t expecting that to all come up, I had thought it had been dealt with years and years ago. (It’s been a tough year trauma wise).
I have never understood why anything to do with even just the IDEA of home as a concept; family life, domesticity, housing, intimacy… makes me think of abuse, domestic violence, paedophiles, secrets, guilt… I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 20 so I know I wasn’t vaginally raped as a child. I have always been grateful for that clarity (I had to have an operation to remove my hymen).
But having explored trauma, co-dependency, my parents’ immaturity, my individuation from them, Enmeshment, ACOAs, my extreme problems with intimacy, domestic abuse I’ve been through… the list goes on and on… I came across Covert Emotional Incest 3 weeks ago and I met criteria for all but about three points 😳. So much resonates.
I can’t believe I’m learning this at 46.
So I’m here to learn from others and to accept and process what’s happened to me. This isn’t something I can speak to many people about - I’m sure many can’t. And this kind of online forum is an ideal way for me to explore this when it’s convenient for me.