my daughter's father has incestuous behaviors

[mentaltoughness26]

My divorce was just finalized.  My ex husband was reported by a hotline I called due to indecent exposure in front of my then 10 month old daughter.  I was holding her when he began playing with himself and being perverse.  He also did some inappropriate no contact things to both of my daughters when they were babies (blew air on their vaginas).  I also caught him rubbing my 5 year old daughter's chest while lying in the bed with her-I left the home the next day.  I even had admissions of him doing the things when they were babies but I was encouraged to settle during mediation for joint custody because there was no trauma and they were too young to remember it occurring/for it to affect them.   Pediatricians and counselors have told me this is sexual abuse, but the legal system failed me.  He denies that these things were inappropriate and I am left feeling isolated and sad that he got away with so much and is able to put on such an act with the community.  I don't trust him at all.

[dolly]

I am so sorry he did those things to your daughters. Good for you for reporting him!

The legal system has been known to be incompetent when it comes to things like sexual abuse, and spousal abuse.

If you haven't done so already, you might want to ask those pediatricians and counselors to put their evaluations of what your husband did to your daughters in writing, so you can show them to the court as evidence. Perhaps you can even ask them to appear in court as witnesses (though I'm not an expert in how the legal system works).

Did the hotline put your husband on a list, or something, after you reported him? Perhaps they can also send you evidence of this in print.

In the meantime, I would document EVERYTHING if I were you. This means record phone messages from your husband and everyone involved in this situation, and try to get everything relevant to this in writing/print. Even try to use video, if possible.

Hope this helps, and tons of luck to you and your daughters.