Long journey home

[phoenixrising]

I read Silently Seduced back in 2008, did therapy on the "inappropriate nature" of my relationship with my Dad, spoke about this inappropriateness in my relationships over the years, etc. But, I've never had anyone *get* me the way my Dad does. So, now in my late 30s and also suffering with ME/CFS/Fibromyalgia, and estranged from all other family members due to my role as family scapegoat for the incredible dysfunction, I move to the town my parents will retire and do 6+ months family therapy with him (online), attempting twice to address the covert incest to his full denial each time. But, every time he is in town he wants to meet up and I am so excited to see him, but then the last time he said stuff that basically took me out of the delusion of "maybe I made it all up in my head and maybe it wasn't that bad growing up" to "THIS sh*t IS REAL and IT'S HAPPENING IN FRONT OF MY OWN EYES".

Over a period of a week he said stuff to me like "I can't speak to my wife this way" and handed me a wad of cash and said, "put it in your underwear" (knowing I had no pockets since I'd biked to se him) and "I couldn't sleep last night I was so excited like a school boy going on his first date".

I mean, WTF???

So, it's a lonely, isolated existence I am living now. Good to be here.
With heart.

[Moriji]

Aug 16, 2016 18:07:25 GMT -8 phoenixrising said:

I read Silently Seduced back in 2008, did therapy on the "inappropriate nature" of my relationship with my Dad, spoke about this inappropriateness in my relationships over the years, etc. But, I've never had anyone *get* me the way my Dad does. So, now in my late 30s and also suffering with ME/CFS/Fibromyalgia, and estranged from all other family members due to my role as family scapegoat for the incredible dysfunction, I move to the town my parents will retire and do 6+ months family therapy with him (online), attempting twice to address the covert incest to his full denial each time. But, every time he is in town he wants to meet up and I am so excited to see him, but then the last time he said stuff that basically took me out of the delusion of "maybe I made it all up in my head and maybe it wasn't that bad growing up" to "THIS sh*t IS REAL and IT'S HAPPENING IN FRONT OF MY OWN EYES".

Over a period of a week he said stuff to me like "I can't speak to my wife this way" and handed me a wad of cash and said, "put it in your underwear" (knowing I had no pockets since I'd biked to se him) and "I couldn't sleep last night I was so excited like a school boy going on his first date".

I mean, WTF???

So, it's a lonely, isolated existence I am living now. Good to be here.
With heart.

Sorry to hear that you're father won't acknowledge what he did to you and keeps treating you this way. I guess the best you can do is set firm boundaries with him.