Post by yeahapple on Jul 23, 2016 12:39:14 GMT -8
*Trigger warning. Potentially triggering content involving explicit details of my fathers sexually inappropriate behavior over the years.*
First time talking about this with people. I'm 29. Here's a list of things my dad has said/done over the years. I need help identifying if it was sexually abusive. I believe it is, but I need validation and support. Not in chronological order.
*When I was a young girl around 4th grade, my dad would jokingly make comments that my breasts were so small I'd need "two acorn shells tyed together with a string" to cover them up.
*We got our first video recorder. When my brother brought his 16 year old prom date over, my dad zoomed in on her breasts and filmed her clevage for 5 minutes- talking to her about the sparkles on her chest, unbeknownst to her that he was filming her chest. Later he showed it to us and laughed about it.
*He used to tell me I "didn't have a big wrack" like my mother, and talked about my breasts with her in front of me in detail.
*When my younger brother was in middle school, he brought his girlfriend over. They were 14. My dad made comments about her developing breasts, high fiving my brother for finding a girl with 'such a big wrack'.
*When I was around 7, I was talking to my parents in their bedroom. They were laying on the bed. My father leaned over and started sucking on my moms breast (through her shirt) right in front of me.
*My dad frequently gropes my mothers breasts in front of us, even today.
*I could always feel him staring at my breasts, to the point of being unable to walk upright because I did not want him noticing.
*He would smack my rear with his hand. He also always talks about how big it is (specifically) and that I have to lose weight
*He told me I have a nice ass
I can't think of anything else right now because im already upset. Ive always had a feeling he sexually abused me (by touching) too, but I can't remember a specific time that happened- and I would remember something like that. I need some support. I just learned about covert sexual abuse after years of telling myself it was all in my head, and that he didnt touch me so it wasnt abuse. But, it greatly impacted my self esteem. I had a hard time finding sexual pleasure (and still do) with someone because it feels wrong. I dont like the vulnerability associated with it. I cant reach orgasm with someone else because I cant let go. I believe this to be tyed to my constant exposure of sexually inappropriate language/behavior from my dad.
I see a therapist and she supports me, but she is not specifically a sexual abuse therapist. I do feel like I need to see one eventually, but there are none in my area.
First time talking about this with people. I'm 29. Here's a list of things my dad has said/done over the years. I need help identifying if it was sexually abusive. I believe it is, but I need validation and support. Not in chronological order.
*When I was a young girl around 4th grade, my dad would jokingly make comments that my breasts were so small I'd need "two acorn shells tyed together with a string" to cover them up.
*We got our first video recorder. When my brother brought his 16 year old prom date over, my dad zoomed in on her breasts and filmed her clevage for 5 minutes- talking to her about the sparkles on her chest, unbeknownst to her that he was filming her chest. Later he showed it to us and laughed about it.
*He used to tell me I "didn't have a big wrack" like my mother, and talked about my breasts with her in front of me in detail.
*When my younger brother was in middle school, he brought his girlfriend over. They were 14. My dad made comments about her developing breasts, high fiving my brother for finding a girl with 'such a big wrack'.
*When I was around 7, I was talking to my parents in their bedroom. They were laying on the bed. My father leaned over and started sucking on my moms breast (through her shirt) right in front of me.
*My dad frequently gropes my mothers breasts in front of us, even today.
*I could always feel him staring at my breasts, to the point of being unable to walk upright because I did not want him noticing.
*He would smack my rear with his hand. He also always talks about how big it is (specifically) and that I have to lose weight
*He told me I have a nice ass
I can't think of anything else right now because im already upset. Ive always had a feeling he sexually abused me (by touching) too, but I can't remember a specific time that happened- and I would remember something like that. I need some support. I just learned about covert sexual abuse after years of telling myself it was all in my head, and that he didnt touch me so it wasnt abuse. But, it greatly impacted my self esteem. I had a hard time finding sexual pleasure (and still do) with someone because it feels wrong. I dont like the vulnerability associated with it. I cant reach orgasm with someone else because I cant let go. I believe this to be tyed to my constant exposure of sexually inappropriate language/behavior from my dad.
I see a therapist and she supports me, but she is not specifically a sexual abuse therapist. I do feel like I need to see one eventually, but there are none in my area.
