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Post by neweagle on Nov 14, 2009 22:53:20 GMT -8
I think I just had a revelation tonight. I've been sitting here thinking about life, death, and everything in between. I am positive I dealt with covert incest growing up. It just hit me tonight that I live my life the same way I did when I was younger. (30-something now)
I spent so many years as as child trying to please my mother and nothing was ever good enough it seemed. I also found her contemplating suicide and was very concerned that she was follow through one day...my God, I should have told someone about the event...I was only 9 or 10 though. I didn't know what to do. So, I just talked her out of it but kept the event to myself.
I think I go to work and approach people in my life the way I approached my mom. I try and try to do everything perfect, do what is always expected of me. I also am big on loyalty. Is it possible I have this underlying attitude that if I work hard enough and please people enough they will like me and not leave? I think I may be on to something big...
I wanted to share and get these thoughts on the screen and out of my head.
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Post by julieanne on Nov 26, 2010 15:15:22 GMT -8
That must have been a huge burden to hold onto as a child. I think it is good for you to have realized this was not right and that you do not have to hold onto that stuff any more. I hope you are doing well in changing what you want to change in your life.
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