Post by olifai1 on Jun 9, 2009 15:06:43 GMT -8
I'm thinking I have finally found the right board. I am in a step-parent relationship right now with a 17-year-old daughter who I think has CI going on with her father...well actually I'm pretty positive after reading this board. Their relationship has been extremely inappropriate (not sexual, but everything else really) since I got into the marriage 10 years ago. At first it just seemed "weird" to me, and from time to time his family members would relate to his daughter as the "wife", but I would chuckle and laugh it off. Honestly it is a seriously ugly thing now that I have been here. He has shunned his oldest daughter, who left our home because she couldn't take the relationship this 17-year-old has with her father. She has always had control of our house for the last 10 years in some way or another. Within the last 8 months or so, as my husband and I are working towards separation and he began sleeping on the couch, my stepdaughter starting moving her toiletries into the bathroom where he showered and started taking her showers in his bathroom. He called her throughout the day, even at school, for no apparent reason. When she was younger, he volunteered for her elementary classes, only (there are 4 others). If he was cooking dinner, he asked for her help only, even if I was standing right there. A few weeks before I moved out, he mentioned to me that he had to talk to his daughter about their relationship as he thought it was getting past the "father/daughter" relationship. This man also has huge sexual issues, with pornography pretty much becoming way too consistent for my liking.
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I have since moved out, three weeks now, and their relationship has escalated (once again not in a sexual manner), to the point where she took all of our family pictures down off of the walls, rearranged/designed the house, moved her car into the garage, oh the list goes on, with part of that being her saying she and her father were going to sue me for custody of my daughter. It's actually frightening. The last time that I spoke to my soon-to-be ex, he started talking about quitting his job and going back to school full time, I guess to carpool with her when she starts college....
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I wish I could help, but I know it's a dead end for me. It's like I scream out and no one listens. It falls on deaf ears, as far as his entire family goes, and they all know it is going on! So now my major concern is my 2-1/2 year old daughter, the daughter that we have together. He is now starting to show obsessive behavior towards her. I would love to get any advice I could, legal or otherwise, to try to protect my daughter from this insanity.
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Oh, did I mention that this 17 year old still carries/sleeps/lays around with her baby blanket...? I did have a counsellor a few months back tell me that it sounded like "incest". At first it was a put-off to me, but now I see it as an emotional issue... Any suggestions for me now with my 2-1/2 year old to avoid all of this history repeating itself?
.
I have since moved out, three weeks now, and their relationship has escalated (once again not in a sexual manner), to the point where she took all of our family pictures down off of the walls, rearranged/designed the house, moved her car into the garage, oh the list goes on, with part of that being her saying she and her father were going to sue me for custody of my daughter. It's actually frightening. The last time that I spoke to my soon-to-be ex, he started talking about quitting his job and going back to school full time, I guess to carpool with her when she starts college....
.
I wish I could help, but I know it's a dead end for me. It's like I scream out and no one listens. It falls on deaf ears, as far as his entire family goes, and they all know it is going on! So now my major concern is my 2-1/2 year old daughter, the daughter that we have together. He is now starting to show obsessive behavior towards her. I would love to get any advice I could, legal or otherwise, to try to protect my daughter from this insanity.
.
Oh, did I mention that this 17 year old still carries/sleeps/lays around with her baby blanket...? I did have a counsellor a few months back tell me that it sounded like "incest". At first it was a put-off to me, but now I see it as an emotional issue... Any suggestions for me now with my 2-1/2 year old to avoid all of this history repeating itself?