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Post by savingone on Sept 11, 2005 12:26:10 GMT -8
I am divorced and have a 15 year old daughter. My parents and my boyfriend asked me to SEE what was going on with my daughter. They tell me that he is taking her places and substituting a date for her. He idolizes her and likes to have her friends around too. I must tell you the reason that we divorced was because of his obnoxious sexual dysfunction. He would dress as a woman and rape rubber dolls and tape it. I found a tape by accident, filed for divorce, but the court told me I had to share custody because people can express their sexual freedome. I believe this was sick behavior. Now I'm not sure where to go. I found this site by accident. Any ideas?
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Post by seayshore on Sept 11, 2005 14:20:43 GMT -8
Does the court also find it acceptable for your daughter's father to share his sexual freedom with or around a minor? That would be a good question. Also, I don't know what state you are in or if you are in the U.S. but at 15 children have the right to say NO. I never made my son go see his father from about the age of 16. I made sure he was very busy and he had a job after school and was in football...there wasn't any thing my ex could do about it. Personally I'd stand my ground and if your ex wants to fight it, let him. How does your daughter feel about all of this?
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Post by savingone on Sept 11, 2005 17:51:48 GMT -8
I am in CT. It was a tremendous court battle, as the ex's father was an attorney. He has recently passed away. He knew about the secrets but fought tooth and nail that my records were sealed. I do have copies of the psych reports. My daughter likes to see her father and DEFENDS him to me all the time. I think the defense thing is what is putting my guard up now. Her father called a short time ago and wanted her to go with him to help him pick out a brithday gift for a friend. He is using her now on a level that is not comfortable. I am making an appoinment tomorrow to bring my daughter to see the psychologists. She feels comfortable with this lady. The psychologist fought the court and lost the battle. She is good, but the fathers psychs and lawyers were better. It's a power struggle and it needs to be what is best for my daughter.
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Post by seayshore on Sept 11, 2005 21:33:42 GMT -8
Hi, I realize that fifteen year olds don't have the knowledge base we do and that they can be very attached to their dads, especially if she views you as being the bad guy in the divorce. If you allow her to develop her own relationship with her father, she won't pull away from you. Keeping a clear sense about what is healthy and what is not in your own household will help her in the future, no matter how you have viewed your relationship with this person as your husband. I know it is very difficult, especially with teenagers. I wish you all the best.
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