Post by wifetobe on Feb 13, 2004 9:11:32 GMT -8
Hi, everyone. I have good news. DH made an appointment yesterday to go to a therapist. He is so excited about going. He is really concerned with anxiety attacks he is having. They are getting worse. He got really angry over nothing 2 nights ago, and now he feels really bad. He threw alot of stuff around, and broke some stuff. He broke down crying, because he feels like he destroys everything important in his life. He has asked me to join him for the first appointment, and then to come back in every so often with him. I am soooo glad he is doing this.
Since he has discovered the covert incest that went on in his life, I see him having self destructive behavior, but I don't bring it up to him, b/c I feel a therapist can address it better. He has missed 3 days of work, took 2 days in vacation, and has been coming home for hours at a time for lunch. At least he is coming home, and not going to his mom's. He is miserable at work, and wants tochange his career. He has only been there since November, and he loved the job when he got it. It pays more than he imagined making, also. However, I am afraid he is messing it up. I can't imagine them not firing him, soon. He is in sales, so he has a lot of freedom when it comes to being at the office, but he still has to meet his quota. Since I graduated in Dec, he wants to go to school, which thrills me, but he wants a quick fix. He wants to get some computer certifications, instead of just completing his bachelor's he started years ago. I am just afraid he is self-destructing, at work and home. He says he has always destroyed everything he loves. He wants to know why. I think he does not feel he deserves joy and happiness, but I will let a therapist go there.
Another thing, the argument the other night happened after drinking. I told him I don't want anymore drinking to go on, period. It was a really bad fight, and he said some hateful things to me. He agrees to no more drinking. However, he is convinced that the only thing that helps his panic and anxiety attacks is alcohol. He says that is all that calms him down. I told him that may be true, because it allows him to be open with his emotions, but it is not healthy.
Now, we have also decided we need to seek out a new network of friends, because our friends here in Houston all drink. All of our activities revolve around drinking. Our two dear friends, the only ones we really go out with, have drinking problems, also, in my opinion. They drink every day.
Anyway, I did not mean to ramble. I was just wondering if anyone can help me out with what to expect from him after therapy starts?!?!? I am afraid these outbursts of rage may get worse, at first. It is like the more he realizes about his mom and family and friends, the worse our arguments get. He was SERIOUSLY out of control 2 nights ago. I was scared, and I told him if it ever happens again, I am gone. I don't care how much I love him, I can not put myself in harm's way. Life will go on. HOWEVER, I have faith in him, and I believe that 2 nights ago changed him. He finally realized his drinking is a problem. He finally realized his rage is a problem. His misdirecting anger is clear to him, now. He said he has no idea what made him do that and get so mad. Then, he called the doctor, himself. So, we are going to begin the next phase of healing!! ;D I am so happy about it.
Hope everyone has a great day and weekend!!
WTB