started thinking

[scaredasheck]

Since my post ( which was my first ) I began thinking. I feel guilty. I feel like I am deceiving my BF, going behind his back and creating all this "nonsense" in my brain. Am I being a simply jealous GF?? BF said to me one day that "you want what my mom and I have....it takes years to get to that level" . He and I don't live together but I know he spends nights at his mom's house. I don't know why this disturbs me but it does. He says that I think of his mother as "the other woman". I have tried to stay out of their relationship. I have been kind to the point of making myself nauseated, I have backed off while his mother takes over his kitchen at parties, I have allowed them time to themselves. I don't know how to help him see that this relationship with his mom is going to prevent our relationship from ever being 100%. Someone please help

[wifetobe]

Don't feel guilty. I did, too. My DH would sleep over there, too. It made me sick. It disturbed me, too. You are not creating anything. There is a problem when people say these things to their partners. I felt jealous, because he made me. It makes you feel crazy for even thinking of his mom as the other woman, but you are not. She has set it up to be that way. I have been kind, myself. Never rude, never disrespectful. I would sit back and bite my tongue. In the beginning of our relationship, he told me we would never be as close as him and his mom. That is not normal. Sons are supposed to grow up, leave home and form their own families.

Another thing he would do is constantly tell me I had a problem. Arguments were always my fault, and he could do no wrong. I would often feel stupid or silly or like a jealous high school girl, during and after our discussions and arguments on the subject.

It makes me so angry to think about. I am sorry you are going through this.