Misdirected Anger

[wifetobe]

Hi, everyone!

I was curious to know if any survivors see that they have misguided or misdirected anger/rage outbreaks? Ummm, like screaming and yelling at their spouse or partner out of nowhere. Or, overreacting to small things. Or, purposely setting your partner up for a fight? Example, tell your partner to go out with some friends for a few hours and to have fun, but then blowing up completely and threatening them when they come home?

I know this is a strange question, but it would really help me to know. I know that it is hard to admit to yourself that you are blowing up at the wrong person, but I was hoping some members that may have already started therapy may have recognized this about themselves.

I guess does anyone have severe anger control issues and take it out on the wrong people?

I hope this question is not too touchy. I am having a bad day. I guess they will come and go.

Thanks,
WTB

[thechronic]

oh yeah, you just described me a few years back, to the letter. I used to do this really bad when I was in the stage where I was still living the double life and dad was around. I would tell myself I was fine and it was all in the past, but, rage burned like a wildfire inside me. Later, after I got some help and realized how cruel I was to my husband, I cried and cried. We weren't even married at the time and I don't know why he put up with it. He is just a very caring, patient, and understanding person and later he said even though it was hard to take sometimes he knew it was not about him.

It has gotten ALOT better with time and age. Occassionally(especially in times of severe stress), I still have outbursts but they are not nearly as extreme and I have much more control over myself and my anger now.

Hope tomorrow is a better day.

[wifetobe]

Thank you for your response. I feel better now.
WTB

[thechronic]

glad I could help. get used to it, marriage is all about ups and downs...well worth it though