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Post by trcered on Sept 5, 2003 18:53:16 GMT -8
hell group, my name is tracy. I'm not sure i know the difference between covert incest and just incest. I was sexually abused by my father from the time i was 8 until i was 14. My oldest sister also abused me from ages 9 to approx. 12. I come from a family filled w/ all those dirty little secrects. i'm finally after all these years learning to deal. I am now 35, a single mom. I've been through so much these last 3 years, that it's brought to mind all of these dirty little secrects i would have rather forgotten. You know, I look at my daughter, she'll be 4 in nov. and I think to myself. How? How could anyone steal the innocence of a child like that withot a second thought? I'll never if I live to be a zillion understand.
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Post by Moriji on Sept 7, 2003 19:55:29 GMT -8
hell group, my name is tracy. I'm not sure i know the difference between covert incest and just incest. I was sexually abused by my father from the time i was 8 until i was 14. My oldest sister also abused me from ages 9 to approx. 12. I come from a family filled w/ all those dirty little secrects. i'm finally after all these years learning to deal. I am now 35, a single mom. I've been through so much these last 3 years, that it's brought to mind all of these dirty little secrects i would have rather forgotten. You know, I look at my daughter, she'll be 4 in nov. and I think to myself. How? How could anyone steal the innocence of a child like that withot a second thought? I'll never if I live to be a zillion understand. Many people are not as self-conscious of their actions as we are. They just go around acting out every impulse they get, whenever they get it. I struggle with trying to understand this as well. I was just talking about this with my therapist last week. She said that many parents who engage in incest with their children do it because they think they will come apart if they don't have their sexual needs satisfied. It's all about their own survival. They may think the child won't remember it or that it won't affect them. Yes, it's very narcissistic. She went on to talk about this case where a boy would hide from his mom in his closet and would masturbate to help him relax. Well, he grew up to be a voyeur/pedophile. The boy had learned to sexually stimulate himself whenever he found himself in a stressful or dangerous situation. I guess it's kind of like being addicted to alcohol or drugs. At some point, he connected hiding and sexual gratification with escaping the harsh realities of life. I still have a hard time understanding the psychology of such a person, but it at least makes more sense to me now. What I still struggle with is those that know they have a problem but choose not to do anything about it. I guess they're taking the easy way out. After all, it's easier not to deal with your problems. But as we all know, the consequences are disastrous.
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Post by silverbackhottie on Oct 3, 2003 20:14:46 GMT -8
Tracy--thanks for your story,...here's mine I was channel surfing just now and came across Law and Order and it had a scene where a man was talking about the relationship between his sister and his father. I am 30 years old and have had training in psychology and I am ABSOLUTLEY STUNNED that there is actually a name for this behavior. I thought that since my father never physically touched me that I was never really abused. Do you mean that his stares, innuendos, passive-agressive comments and actions have added up to something? Will someone please tell me what planet I am on? How am I supposed to handle this realization?
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Post by Moriji on Oct 5, 2003 11:01:28 GMT -8
Tracy--thanks for your story,...here's mine I was channel surfing just now and came across Law and Order and it had a scene where a man was talking about the relationship between his sister and his father. I am 30 years old and have had training in psychology and I am ABSOLUTLEY STUNNED that there is actually a name for this behavior. I thought that since my father never physically touched me that I was never really abused. Do you mean that his stares, innuendos, passive-agressive comments and actions have added up to something? Will someone please tell me what planet I am on? How am I supposed to handle this realization? Hi there. The revelation that you were abused if you previously didn't think you were abused can be quite shocking. I went though that. I would recommend picking up on some books on the subject and finding out if in fact what you went through was covert incest. From what you've said so far, I can't really tell if it constitutes covert incest or not. Stares, innuendos, and the like can be an indication of it, but you really need to examine the nature of the relationship between you and the parent in order to come to an accurate prognosis. Feel free to post about your experiences here if you like.
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