Post by sachi on Aug 31, 2020 13:58:25 GMT -8
First, I would like to say that I've actually posted this very same post on another forum a while back (in case anyone happened to have seen it there). But, I wanted to go ahead and post here to see if anyone had any thoughts/ perspective on it. Ok, here it goes~
When I was a child, I believe it started around the age of 5, my father would come to my room to say good night and say a prayer with me every night before going to sleep. I grew up in a very Christian household, so praying before going to sleep was something I grew up with. Sometimes it would be my mother coming to say the "goodnight prayer," other times my father. Whenever it was my fathers turn to do the prayer, instead of sitting on the edge of the bed, he would climb up in the bed and put his body over mine~ using his knees and arms to hold himself above me, while I felt trapped under his body. But holding himself with his elbows and knees touching the bed, his body never touched mine (it sort of "hovered" above mine), while I would be stuck between his elbows and not able to get out should I want to. It's hard to describe this position, but maybe you understand what I mean? I am now a 38 year old woman, struggling to make sense of this behaviour. I do remember feeling very confused about this when it happened, and that it made me feel trapped. Also, adding the Christianity into the mix, the prayer to God, while towering over me where I felt trapped has surely been traumatizing for me as it kept on from the age of 5 to about 13, I believe. Anyway, I just needed to get this out there, and hope that someone reading this has an input or comment about this~ Thank you so much in advance.
When I was a child, I believe it started around the age of 5, my father would come to my room to say good night and say a prayer with me every night before going to sleep. I grew up in a very Christian household, so praying before going to sleep was something I grew up with. Sometimes it would be my mother coming to say the "goodnight prayer," other times my father. Whenever it was my fathers turn to do the prayer, instead of sitting on the edge of the bed, he would climb up in the bed and put his body over mine~ using his knees and arms to hold himself above me, while I felt trapped under his body. But holding himself with his elbows and knees touching the bed, his body never touched mine (it sort of "hovered" above mine), while I would be stuck between his elbows and not able to get out should I want to. It's hard to describe this position, but maybe you understand what I mean? I am now a 38 year old woman, struggling to make sense of this behaviour. I do remember feeling very confused about this when it happened, and that it made me feel trapped. Also, adding the Christianity into the mix, the prayer to God, while towering over me where I felt trapped has surely been traumatizing for me as it kept on from the age of 5 to about 13, I believe. Anyway, I just needed to get this out there, and hope that someone reading this has an input or comment about this~ Thank you so much in advance.