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Post by lentilsoup on Jul 28, 2019 3:39:12 GMT -8
Hi I’m Joe,
I’m 34 and divorced with two kids (I have full custody).
I was dating a woman and got dumped about two weeks ago which set off this crazy obsessiveness in me to figure out what went wrong. I was pushing the relationship forward but, ironically, if we had become committed it probably would have made me sabotage it because I’m terrified of long term relationships. She had a lot of the same issues as me and I assume commitment scared her too.
Anyways, I got into reading about attachment styles (I’m disorganized or fearful-avoidant) and parental influence I came across some articles about covert incest I realized that that characterized my relationship with my mother. I’ve been her emotional crutch my whole life. She would make comments that made me feel uncomfortable about my body and also complain about my father’s sexuality (they got divorced when I was in sixth grade when he came out of the closet).
I’ve found a counselor and start tomorrow. At the end of the day I just want a healthy relationship with another person, but in order to do that I have to have one with myself first.
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Post by benjamin on Aug 1, 2019 8:10:23 GMT -8
Welcome! I think your plan is a good one.
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Post by michael0562 on Aug 11, 2019 21:19:25 GMT -8
Hello New to the forum.Do not remember being physically sexually abused. But had a parade of men enter my life due to my mom's affairs when my dad was overseas. It happened every time he left and continued until after I graduated high school. Also my dad would drink and stuff hit the fan when he was drunk. Ended up addicted to booze and drugs at 14 yrs old and porn as well. Have been sober from booze and drugs 32 years and sexually sober for 15 months. Thank You for this forum Michael
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