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Post by bluejack404 on Oct 8, 2016 18:09:13 GMT -8
Honestly, I still feel more like a victim than a survivor, but I know that these things take time.
I got into the field of psychology because I wanted to understand myself. After becoming a counselor, I still didn't understand myself. I learned about covert incest a few years ago, but I still didn't apply it to me. I had been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, I was actively suicidal, and the only time I felt whole was when I was focusing on helping other people heal.
Then I read an interview by another covert incest survivor, and I suddenly realized that I fit the bill. My father was never around; my mother was warm and loving, but self-centered and manipulative. She would talk to me and touch me in inappropriate ways. She would isolate me from my friends and freak out whenever I had a girlfriend. (I never told her about the boyfriends, but I still felt bad about keeping things from her.) She's been a weight on my shoulders for all of my life. I'm 33 years old, and I feel like I just woke up from a nightmare.
I wanted a place where I could talk to others who have been through similar things, and this seems like the best choice for me. So, hi. I'm Jack. Nice to meet you all.
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Post by tdc on Nov 2, 2016 12:58:58 GMT -8
Hi Jack, Welcome. I can relate to your story. My mother felt like a weight on my shoulders as well --interestingly enough, she still does despite the fact that she died 3 years ago. I've known for years that the nature of our relationship was toxic and played a key role in the dysfunction I have dealt with for over 40 years--only recently getting to the nitty gritty of the multi-layered onion that is my personality. I'm so glad that the professionals have legitimized our experience and have given it a name. I've yet to post my intro. Just wanted to respond to you. Again, welcome and hang in there. Peace, TDC
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