Covert Abuse or Stupidity?

[myshadow]

Hello, this is my first time posting on this forum. I have suffered from depression and anxiety since I was 11 years old - the same age I was when my mother married her second husband. I had a talk with my therapist today and brought up some things I'd never talked about with anyone before - the fact that my stepfather would watch racy movies, and sometime outright porn, in the living room of our house when it was just me or me and my brother home alone with him. My mother would have never condoned the porn, but she also contributed to the issues by acting promiscuously with her husband in a way that, I felt, was inappropriate in front of a kid of 11. My stepfather hardly ever worked, and I was stuck alone with him in the house on school vacations. I became so scared that he would be watching porn or something racy in the living room that I refused to leave my room - except to go to the nearby bathroom - until my mom came home from work. I wouldn't even eat until my mom was in the house. My stepfather was into magazines as well as just seemed overall oversexualized. 
My problem right now is - was this behavior sexual abuse, or just stupidity on how to act around children? Does intent matter? I don't believe he was getting thrills out of me being in the house when he was watching porn, I think he was just a selfish bastard. Also, do I open up to my mother about all this? Can I even share how her actions contributed to my feeling victimized???

[James C T]

I would tend to think it was abuse, but here we're dealing with labels. You were damaged by the behavior regardless of the label and it's that damage that needs to be healed, IMO.